New morning, new meditaion.

I got pretty frustrated looking to 'Read a Meditation, online this morning. I did not want :
to BUY a meditation book, program, CD, Or read about how to meditate....It took several attempts re-arranging words for the search- so I didn't get as far as eliminating other
factors... What came up is appropriate though :

"...The parable of the talents. Here you have three men with different gifts. A talent was originally a coin or a weight, but through this parable it acquired the general meaning of a gift or an aptitude with which each of us is endowed. Some have more gifts than others - that is obvious. People have different temperaments, some more optimistic than others, a more or less attractive personality, more or less brains, a stronger or sicklier body, more or less beautiful hair, skin, face, body, and so on. Jesus is saying: Use everything you are given. Live your life to the full. Do not hide away the gifts the Lord gave you, whether of personality or of brains or whatever. The biggest tragedy is a life unlived. The fact that you are endowed in a different way from your brother or sister or parents or friends, does not mean that you should hide away the abilities and personality you have. Use it to the full for other people. The central message is the real explanation: use everything you are given." ( Sacred Space, homepage)

Do we earn these talents ? I do not believe they are random- however I do not believe we are only here once, either...
As a young child there was a great deal of hustle, bustle, travel and challenges. I remember many different people in and out of our home. There was -it seems now-a lot of: all or nothing too. You were 'On' or 'Off'. In company, or alone.
Getting older, there was: School. My first experience was a French school, in NY. - Why ?
My Mother had been raised with the admiration of all things French. I do not mind that-
Bi-lingual is good ! However THIS child, felt trapped. Helpless...
So-Shut up & watch-became my modus operandi . However that only works to a certain point.
When you cannot understand the instructions a teacher is giving-So- her experiment did not succeed. She never gave up on the 'French'- but I went to a regular School after that.
The Watch and Listen approach, test the proverbial waters, has stayed with me...Expect
trouble ? no. But caution and assessment, yes. Even reticence.
That was learned. Natural abilities ? Fairly coordinated, pretty smart. The problem I ran into was "competition" You have to continually strive : Better, smarter, quicker, brighter more popular,creative...And Then: Be Ready For Anything !!! (at a moments notice.)
"Put her on the next plane to-" Happened a lot. Back then 'Stewardesses' - would often guide
a child off a plane ( name and destination pinned to your coat) and wait with you until the connecting party showed up for you, at the gate...hard to believe ? Well it taught you to pay attention. ( I had a furrowed brow from an early age.) Looking back it made you realize
you were responsible. How far, how much ? You did whatever you could, as much as you could.
(The program says " Ability to respond" Phew- I did that.) Bottom line: safety, survival.
So as an adult- or trying to be, you look at interests, weigh aptitudes, examine history and experience. Thank heaven we can take a 'fearless and thorough inventory'. I never thought of it in that way- I always approached it from you are going on a journey, you need to pack: first went the books, etc. Then " How long is it for ? how warm is it ?" As a kid people I was staying with often had limited info to give me... So you wing it. bring essentials.Today I make sure that
means practical comfortable, too.I had to carry whatever I brought, so one suitcase, maybe
a tote.
I guess I got pretty fed up with 'competition'. Today my life has as many natural elements in
it as possible. I work in the service industry, more word of mouth than "advertisement".
I try to keep my eye open for the 'kid with the furrowed brow' !